hais

drink twice this week...
not feeling good thou...
feeling bad now also....
hais.......

hais

okay, been a few days since i last blog.

was really busy. and moodless to blog.
pratically bout school.. and ya.. guys? or relationship thingy....
so what's that about school? pratically projects la.. tons of project...
relationship? complicated... maybe its me who made everything so complicated.
recently found alot of hypocrites.. ya. i am one too... ppl dun treat u truely, why should i treat anyone truely.?
nah... dun wanna talk about it...
ok... and...
ya.. i simply hate it when someone else have the time to do their individual stuff.. yet someone else have to rush out some group stuff... i think just have to be selfish too.... myself as first priority, and push other to others... (whatever ppl may comment, i dun care)
comm skill , pom, htm, psychology, sociology...
my brain is just not functioning well... couldnt think... pardon me if i dun really wish to talk... im just too tired of everything....

ok.. although some shitter just gone.. out of my life.. but i cant admit i still do think... bout e past.. its simply hard to let go everything.. my life is just so complicated now....
and i felt tat im losing everything.....
i got everything at a moment..... everything...... everything that i wanted..... everything until i dunno what to choose... now.... it seems like i lost everything within a week..... everything i ever want.... maybe im just too selfish......
its my retribution.....
and i think, i dun deserve to be loved...
i dun deserve to love either..
im better off my own............
but, i dun wanna be alone.....
i want someone to dote on me......
but... can i still trust again?
i lost all my trust....
lost the ability to love again.....
lost the ability to think, to make a decision, to know what i really want
i pratically lost everything......
how i wish i have never met R... that fucking bastard...
if i nv been so silly, i wont be in a state like this now....
now, im so afraid of sweet talks... and broken promises.... and hypocrite-ness......
im tired... and my eyes are swollen again......

fuck, emo kid......

emo, again

okay, again. im feeling damn emo..
i hate myself , hate myself to do all the wrong things.. i just lost the ability to think.. about wat is right and wat is wrong. i just felt so bad.. is loving someone a wrong thing to do? why cant i just get wat i want? why issit that everything i dun want something, they kept coming to me.. and when i need them... they just dun allow me to have them?

its so hard to describe my feelings. everything seems like a dream for me.. seems fake to me.. but why? why do i have to fake myself.? bluff myself to believe them all? trust? wat is trust? love? what is love? everything seems so complicated..
everything just SUCKS for me.
i feel like taking a break.. a break from this world.. from anyone, everyone, school, projects, work.. simply every shit.
yes. im damn tired. tired..
who should i trust?
or am i better off my own?
A, B, or C?
D?
or nth at all?
fuck all this shit....
im a farking B*

ROARSSSS...
i miss uuuuuu....

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

[Chorus:]
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

[Chorus]

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

[x2]
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

hello

Elloo~
today...
had comm skill summative test... i sort of anyhow do.... haha.. cos i din really study the format. but anyways.... hope its not that bad thou.... Went to school opp to eat prata... i ordered roti john... and the indian waiter there was like tryna be funny.... i think his wire is abit connected wrongly on the top.. zzzz.... dun wanna say more bout tat... okay...... the roti john i ate was kinda weird taste loh... wonder wat the sot sot uncle did to it... hur~ anyway..ate half of it only..


wonders what those black black stuff are.. they are bitter in taste..


aftermaths... headed back sch... and took a look at the push cart ard e entrance at biz sch... and a look leads to me spending $40.... ZZZZZ.... i only have $10 to spend every. yet i spent so much... reason being i only have $10 is because im saving. really saving... but i sees i go no where... May be going to club on sat. hur... i think i have to just bring $5 to sch everyday... and bury my atm card... haha.. i think i am just kidding... how can i simply resist temptation? hur anyway... i think i dun really like e hp strap i bought for $25 now.. :(... but, ya.. should just use it...

okay.. went fnb lec after tat.. and pon-ed sociology... just too tired....
yea.. just receive a msg from someone.....

"as i walked outside and looked up at the sky, it seemed like the clouds wanted to cry. they were so nice, they reminded me of your eyes, now all i can think is you. calling me by ur side, as i continue to walk, i couldnt help but to let a sigh, as tears rolled out of my eyes, and wishing i could be once again by your side..."

it left me not knowing how to reply... but i dun wish to hurt... i dunno wat i want.... so much things happening together recently.... it really really left me Soooooo,,, i dunno how to say.... my brain, out of a sudden will be blank..... hur.... im damn confused....

i think all i can do is to just dun think about them? running away from all those problems that i cant find a good solution to... i dun want just to make a decision... i really need to think..... yes.. think deeply... but...... everythings that happened really left me no more energy to think....
i think... i should just concentrate on my school assignment first... :)

okay.. 2 zilian photos out of 20 :X





take care peeps.

gr

okay~
felt somehow accomplished today..
went to sch at 9am, attended bo liao grooming class which all the info i already knew, the freebies like so cheap, wasted me 2hours, wasted my beauty sleep, waste my strength first time stand in bus 34. so crowded loh... monday blues... Fff... haa
but anyway. POM was good. project on the track.. hope we'll do well...
although econs today was kinda suckish.. fiscal policy.. theory... blahhh

i think my posting kinda suck.. but i dun care.. not really in a good mood now...
so, after sch. went far east to do some shopping, but main intention was to do my FNB assignment.. so yeah.... i spent just $10.. on bangles... 2 is for me... and 1 is for my sis..
after tat, headed to amk... to collect my LOST ezlink card.... i lost it for 1month plus ler... didnt have the time to go and do a new one.... so yea. now i dun have to do a new one anymore... :)

den, to hougang point to collect my pre-ordered eye shadow palette... for my colleagues...
ate mac fries, and home-sweet-home....
think i really need some sleep... been busy lately.... health is going down... skin condition getting bad... to worst....
how i wish i can have more time for myself...

all time favourite.

im back

okays, im back...
hiding all those old post...
starting a new life...

too much things happened recently...
really makes me wake up... and see the realistic world..

i want a different me..
i dun wanna be soft-hearted anymore.
just live for ppl who worth my time.
and ignore outsiders.

i've learnt to treasure myself, my life.
i hope i'll be happy again.

and, happy birthday to my father
the one who love me most



PS;
i love my 8mp camera.. hehe :)

and, someone sent me this song... like... hmmmm...
the music is quite nice.. but the lyrics kinda sucks.

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No

[Verse 1:]
See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel

[Chorus:]
Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

[Verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back